3 months ago today I planned to go to the Chill Factor to practice linking my turns, but anxiety got the better of me. I was all ready to go, my bag packed with my impact shorts, snow trousers, socks and gloves. Jacket on, I hovered at the door. I knew nothing bad would happen.… Continue reading Chill Out (mama, how far I’ve come)
This week I had my first session with a counsellor who specialises in anxiety. It went really well, he was warm, welcoming and compassionate – and the cushions were really comfy. He was also very knowledgeable. We talked about a lot of things, including what led me to going there and his approach to therapy.… Continue reading What I wish someone had told me about anxiety
Mental health issues can be quite insipid. They creep up on you slowly, so you don’t realise there’s a problem until things have gotten out of hand. That’s one of the worst things about anxiety; it’s a vicious cycle. Anxiety breeds anxiety. One panic attack can lead to weeks thinking it over. Analysing it. Trying… Continue reading Anxiety Part 2
My heart is racing and I’m struggling to catch my breath, even though I haven’t been running anywhere. I can feel my body shaking, adrenaline going through my veins, primed to fight or flight. But the danger isn’t real. It’s hard to flee from something that isn’t really there. I find myself walking out of… Continue reading Just hold me in the doorframe through all of the earthquakes
It’s been 245 days since I completed the Three Peaks Challenge for Mind. I started writing this post the week after the challenge, but at the time I didn’t feel ready to post it. Now it’s coming to the end of Mental Health Awareness week, I’m sitting on a two hour train back from my sister’s,… Continue reading Five ways anxiety feels like descending Scafell Pike in the dark
It’s 9.30am on Sunday 18th September, and right now I’m sat in my garden, drinking tea and listening to the birdsong after a wonderful night’s sleep and a very chilled out Saturday. This time last week I was starting the descent of Snowdon, the highest mountain in Wales, after being awake for the best part… Continue reading I did it!
It would have been your 27th birthday tomorrow. It’s been almost six years since we lost you now, and I still often wonder if you saw the last message I sent you, and if you had, would it have made any difference? You were so supportive of me, and I’m sorry you didn’t make it… Continue reading Charles
Yesterday I completed the perfect warm up for the National Three Peak Challenge in September… The Yorkshire Three Peaks! And it certainly was challenging. I completed the course with the MAD Walkers branch of the Ramblers Association, and I finished the route in about 11hours, including the stops, and I’m pretty pleased with that. I awoke around 5.30am with the… Continue reading The Yorkshire Three Peaks
This has been the hardest post to write, I’ve been experiencing anxiety for over half my life and writing about it leaves me feeling exposed. But it feels important to write this, because it may help people understand. Speaking to people over recent months I realised that not everyone gets anxious so much as I… Continue reading Anxiety
As a teenager, I felt exhausted a lot of the time, it was hard for me to concentrate, and I lacked motivation, even for things I loved to do, like my ballet classes. There was a point where even taking a shower seemed like a huge amount of effort. And feeling like this was normal… Continue reading Hanger, or why I became a dietitian
