This week hasn’t gone so well for me. Not just in terms of training.
I’ve felt ill since last Sunday. I went to work Monday and Tuesday, each night just having something to eat and then going to bed after getting home. Then Wednesday I started shivering and my nails went blue so I came home early. And then slept most of the rest of the day.
After a few more days of resting, I’m feeling better in many ways now, though I wouldn’t say I feel ‘right’ yet. And still exhausted.
So I’m making an effort to carry on resting, and looking after myself.
And this means leaving my training for this week. I cancelled pole classes, and I think long walks are out for me now too, just til I’m feeling better.
I hate taking days off work, missing pole classes, and getting behind on training. I think I’m letting people down, and I’m not training hard enough or trying hard enough.
And I’ve realised, when I’m well I’m often hard on myself too. Dwelling on small mistakes, comparing myself and my achievements to others, often thinking how I ‘should’ be.
And I’m sure I’m not the only person who thinks this way. Our self-talk can be so negative, things we’d never dream of saying to other people. Thinking like that all the time takes it’s toll, damaging self-esteem, and self-worth, limiting opportunities, and it’s generally exhausting.
I’ve decided instead to try being kind to myself. This week my body has been run down, and I’m resting because I needed it, and that’s okay.
I got the quilt my mum made for me out, I read through my notes in my happy memories box, used my gratitude and Jennysaurus journals, and my calm book, watched Disney films and stayed warm and comfy.
And when I notice my thoughts have become negative and self-critical, I try to talk to notice this as ‘thinking’ and instead talk to and treat myself as you would a friend. I find this helps me.
threepeaksformind 